Bastard

The balcony is not at peace. If I were to leave my plants as they are, or, in the state of nature, if you will, then the insidious and stupid tuber that I planted may soon kill my other plants by smothering them with its deadly vines. You can see from the above pictures how it is already beginning to happen. Perhaps this is what would happen if one ever did employ the pit technique for raising childen. Sure, you think you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation by not worrying about multiple kids and then just nuturing the one that makes it out of the pit alive, but I suppose there would be a good chance that the one that survives is a real cold-hearted bastard, like this stupid tuber, for example.

Husbandry

Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines "husbandry" as the care of a household, or the control or judicious use of resources, or the cultivation or production of plants and animals, etc.

I am a husband X 2, in that I am a husband both to my wife as well as to my plants. Plants are easier to husband than wives. This is a fact.

Here are some pictures of my plants. My have they grown. The avocado pit has yet to sprout. The sweet potato that I planted as an afterthought is now thriving and choking the life out of the more worthy plants. I will soon rectify this situation.

Observation Skills and Analytical Thinking

Take a look at the picture above. A thorough reading of this entire blog will allow you to form the correct conclusion about what will be done with this apple. A thorough reading of this blog might also give you enough information to form a conclusion about what you are doing with your life, and whether you should be doing something else instead of reading this blog.

If you thought, "well Green Thumb, the joke is on you, you're the one that is writing it," then I commend your analytical thinking.

In Case Anybody Cares

The sweet potato is growing quickly. Please do not comment on this post. I have more important things to occupy my time than thinking about this stupid tuber.

Shade Dwellers

See how these plants stand in the darkness of the shade, afraid to go into the light? The theme song for Baywatch has similar wording to the preceding sentence. I got these plants about three years ago, around the same time I obtained an advanced degree. I have transplanted them but once. I usually add new top soil to their pots in the spring time. How sad it must be to be burned by the sun, and yet also require the mana of the sun to live. Are some white people sad for this reason? I wonder. I think we can all rest assured that at least one guy is sad.

Enough goofing around. My pineapple is also growing away from the sun. Why does it grow away from the sun?! I thought it liked the sun. I guess I will move it, AGAIN. The things I go through for this plant. At least when I have kids I will not have to worry about any of them until the strongest emerges from the pit. I am of course referencing a rigorous technique for child rearing; something similar was employed in Sparta quite some time ago. I would be tempted to try it but I couldn't find a book on this child rearing technique at Barnes and Noble. Also, I promised my wife I was joking about the whole, "let's just wait and see which ones make it out of the pit and then devote our resources to those" technique. I was joking, of course. You should know that if you are not dumb and if you can draw decent conclusions based upon information you have. If not, you are either a child or foolish enough to plant money or both.

Gratification Delayed is not Gratification Denied

Several days ago after a rough day of keeping casualty (and, to a lesser extent, medical malpractice) insurance premiums low, I wanted to go to Home Depot and buy some things. I did not. Later on that very same week, however, I did go to Home Depot. It was then that I enjoyed what had been kept from me, shopping for plant stuff. While there, I bought the things you see pictured above. I bought basil and cilantro, as well as materials to stabilize my top-heavy pineapple plant, which will not remain erect without assistance. Yeah, I know, "erect." So what, big deal, grow up.

The pineapple is now growing away from the sun. This general concept makes me think about making a whole different post on that topic.

p.s. the basil and cilantro have already been transplanted. If you check in on them in a few days, you will probably find an update.

Nothing Yet

Still a pit, not yet a sprout. You cannot see what I am about to describe, as it occurred after the above picture was captured electronically. Well, here it is: a large crack has begun to develop on the outside membrane of the avocado pit. Perhaps a sprout will break free. When it does you can be sure I will post about it on this blog.