EXECUTIVE PARDON

Taking what power is vested in me as the executive of my own personal affairs and property, and endeavoring to ensure that domestic tranquiltiy reins and that justice is established, and furthermore notwithstanding pledges to the effect that I would have eaten my pineapple by now, I have resolved to pardon my pineapple plant from any immmediate butchering and eating. This pardon is not something I take lightly, and should be looked upon with all the dignity, pomp, circumstance, and weighty tradition of another famous pardonings, like this one, for example: http://www.whitehouse.gov/blog/2009/11/25/official-pardoning-turkey

The president, an executive like myself, of course has the authority to declare that live turkeys within the lawful possession of the executive branch of the government (federal) may be pardoned from the dinner table. What he does not have the power to do, however, is make school lunches better in Florida, no matter what he said to this inquisitive reporter at 4:24 into this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rP-695ATg-c The main stream media should have picked up this story, because the answer the President gives, while mainly nonresponsive, sets a dangerous precedent that could be exploited and built upon in the following years.

For your information, other executive gardeners include, but are not limited to, G. Washington and Martha Stewart. See below:

http://www.mountvernon.org/

http://www.savvyhousekeeping.com/martha-stewarts-herb-garden/